trying to get back in balance

 

  I've been having some trouble with depression recently. I haven't got a reason for it, but depression is like that: it comes unbidden and without apparent cause, and it stays as long as it chooses, on its own schedule, without providing reasons or checkout dates.

And then, on top of that, we had a tragedy: a nephew, a child of one of my wife's sisters, died suddenly. My wife, and her family, were thunderstruck; my wife has been bereft. I was not close to the nephew in question, but I find that even when I'm not ruminating about mortality, I'm still out-of-sorts, with poor focus and persistence, and I'm anhedonic, not finding pleasure in things I would normally find engaging. I've been poorly disciplined, and eating ALL the junk.

Laura OLPH posted a ride on which it was clear she wanted company (maybe she knew I'd benefit from some bike-y association); she left out the most demanding hills (she's been training for a bike vacation, on which there's a dramatic climb on one of the days; she's been worrying about it for months) and my least-favorite intersections, and when she emailed the Hill Slugs to let us know she was posting it, I was the second or third to sign up. 

I didn't get a lot of pictures today.

There are two starting locations near the Twin Pines park at Pennington, and there was some not-unpleasant confusion about which was the one Laura intended. We got sorted, though, and did a route up to Sergeantsville, on a loop in the other direction from the way she usually goes. I like it better than her usual way, and call it "widdershins", from a Scottish word meaning in the direction contrary to the sun's course; traveling widdershins is unlucky, and calls up witches, or something. I already had enough of that going on, so I wasn't afraid of any more.

But it was a great day, and a good ride, with no blood or mechanical complications, and kinder heat and humidity than we have recently seen. We stopped at the Covered Bridge Cafe, to which I will gladly return when there are rides going that are not hitting every most evil hill in the territory.

Go check out the ride page.

I wish I could say that the ride completely cleared out my head and I'm back to my jovial and prolix self; I'm not. But I'm grateful for the support of friends, and for the opportunity to do something a little difficult and physical to chase the demons for a while.